garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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