Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
