Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
