i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
