i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
My pussy is not your playground.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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