Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
