Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize