Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight