so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
A Guy Sent A Woman What May Be The Craziest Breakup Text Ever
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
28 Completely Safe For Work Pictures Of Genitals
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"