This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
