There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
