Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
