Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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