Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
