Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
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