THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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