Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
