I'll bet she douches with gravy.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
