I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
