Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
