I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
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Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
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I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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