It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
