Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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