K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
