ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
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then he tried to convert me to islam
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
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Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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