Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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