So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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