Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
