So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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