im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
