Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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