like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
