Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
