just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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