living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
