Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
