maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
he just fucked me for my cheese.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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