I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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