Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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