Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
