I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
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