Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
