Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
please don't ironically join a cult
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