There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
