Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
