:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
he thought i was a dude.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Rumble strips road head = magical
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
