And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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