their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
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walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
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Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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