I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
