I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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