Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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