I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I show you my penis last night?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize