on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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