he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
