just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
