I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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