i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Just pee around me
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
